So every once and a while we breakdown. That's just the way of life. Things come our way in which it's too much to handle at once. Maybe it's because there's already so much going on in our lives. For all different reasons we breakdown at some point. I'm not usually one to breakdown, but I have before. My breakdowns occur when too many things are happening at once. Or when things aren't going my way, I lose things, or I'm just plain angry. My breakdowns are usually quick. Thankfully, I do pretty well when it comes to big stuff. When it comes to emotional things, I'm not good at all. I seriously break..down. I change. There's nothing I hate more than when my emotional distress becomes apparent to everyone around me. I'm not the type to cry in front of you.
Last year, I found out some pretty bad news. I knew I had no one to tell, I just had to suffer it on my own. When it rains, it pours. Soon after that more and more bad news came tumbling down on me. It was too much to handle. For about a week I was quiet, sad, distracted.. it was absolutely awful. It made it worse that I had to keep it from my best friend.. my sister. Luckily for me, she found out the news on her own... 5 months later! I had to hold it in for that long! I know no one was making me do that, but come on. I just couldn't break it to her. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. I hate keeping secrets. It wears me out.
So anyway when I breakdown, it's usually pretty serious. I become a lost soul. A babe in the woods. Easily angered. I don't like to tell anyone what's going on with me, I don't want to appear weak. I just wait it out untill it's not apparent anymore even if I'm still sad inside. My breakdowns are awful! I'm usually stuck with them for a LONG time. So what makes you breakdown? How do you deal with it?
Here's a curious thought.. homebirth. I know people are a little bit sketchy over that subject. It's almost taboo. Anyway, here's my thought on it.
I honestly am 50/50 about the whole thing. I have no problem with it or the people who make that decision. Perhaps it's the fact that I suffered a birth injury that has me on the fence about it. Some people swear by it. I'm just wondering if people who make that decision really go through all the possibilities that could happen. Of course, birth injuries happen in hospitals but why go and promote the idea by having a homebirth? Now I understand if you want a homebirth because you want it without any type of medication, if this is the case, then why can't you ask for no medicine of any kind in the hospital? I can admit that people who go with this decision are brave in their way. But if something were to happen to that baby, I couldn't help but think that it could've been prevented if they were in a hospital. For example what if you need an emergency C-section? I hear that your midwife will be able to tell in time in case you DO need to go to the hospital. But again. Why take that chance?
I mean this isn't Breaking Dawn where Edward will be opening you up with his teeth to save you/the baby.
So anyway, I think I'm traumatized. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. For example, me having Erb's Palsy.. I do believe that I was meant to have that. So I suppose that if I born at a homebirth it was bound to happen anyway. At the end of the day, whatever will be will be. It's all about your personal preference.
One more thought on this subject: What if 1 parent wants a homebirth and the other doesn't?
What an awful dilemma! I mean, I guess you could say that the mother will feel she has the right to choose. But I think if you're lucky enough to have a father who's participating during the whole pregnancy, he too, should have a choice. I hate when women pull the "I have to carry this baby for 9 months, so I get to blah blah blah." Just because you get pregnant does not mean you should have 100% say on what goes on with the baby.. unless the father isn't present.
So to end this.. homebirthing is not for me, but I have no problem with those that choose it as long as they consider all the available options. :)
Okay, so here's a curious thought! Ingratitude! Something most kids of my generation (unfortunately) have. I know that when old people say we have it good, it can be pretty annoying.. buutttttt, when all these kids (and so-called adults sometimes!) roam around with their little iPad, iPod, the newest Android, I'm left to wonder. Do any of these kids realize how good they truely have it?!?
Now I can admit that I've had my share of ungrateful moments. But for crying out loud! I mean get it together people! I have a friend who has everything. He even replaces his cell phone becuase it's what? 2 months old and he's getting sick of it?! What kind of bull crap is that? Then when I finally say that he's being "coddled," he has the nerve to get mad at me.
I am so thankful every day for the things I have. Phone, car, house, money..etc. But now I'm even talking about the simple things that we seem to forget to be thankful for! Our vision, hearing, even the ability to walk and talk. Now I have Erb's Palsy, so the fact that I even have an arm is what I can be thankful for. Now I can admit that having this disability makes me cry sometimes. People don't realize what they take for granted everyday of their lives.
Now I'm not saying everybody is ungrateful little demons. And I'm also not saying all our youth and future kids will be ungrateful. I'm just saying that we're in a generation of people who need to take a moment and realize all that they have. I heard somewhere (maybe two days ago) where this guy was saying, "I bet there are people who have it 10x worse than you, and they smile everyday!) So true!
One thing I hate the most is when people complain about their job! Ugh! That makes me soo flustered! There are so many people (even in our own country) who don't have jobs and would be willing to take the first thing they get. And people have the nerve to complain that their job is too "mushy." What? Is the job not back-breaking enough for ya? I mean even around the world, people work for less than $1 a day and live off of $300 a year, and we have the nerve to complain about simple shit! What's going on here people?!
I have a cousin who is guilty of this "crime." When I bring up FACTS about people working for almost nothing, him and his relatives have the nerve to retort back to me. Making rude, nasty comments. Not my fault if you don't know how good ya have it. In fact here's one thing they said to me.. "Some people don't know they have until they lose it." And I said something like "If you have to lose something to realize it's value, then maybe you didn't deserve it in the first place."
Which brings me to the SAW movies. I currently just saw the last one (#7) and the whole theme/moral of the story is to be grateful for your life. Ugh!
One more thing.. my cousin's moved over from California last November. When they got here they were complaining about how they didn't have insurance and their baby hasn't even been to a doctor/dentist. After a few weeks of dissin' this place as well ( I don't remember for) they got everything they needed. WIC, dental, they even got all the immunizations for their baby. She even found a midwife (since she's having a homebirth..we'll get to that later) that accepted her NEW insurance. They even found a job and an apartment. We've helped them all along the way, and now all of a sudden, they want to move back to California where they had NOTHING! Why???? Because they "miss it."
Now excuse me, but "missing" a place is not enough nor is it responisible to move back to a place where your child (now almost a 2 kids) had no care. You had nowhere to live and no job. Everybody knows that California is pretty much going downhill. So after all we did to help them out, got them everything they could possibly need, even luxuries as in internet and cable TV. They are acting like such kids and being as impractical as they could be. Did I mention they spent their whole tax return on new baby furniture, and now they plan to leave it all behind?
This is the epitome of ingratitude! I can't stand it!
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